If I Had To Live Without You
by inhereuphoriceyes
Summary: Patricia&Eddie. Patricia has cancer and with all the bottled-up emotions bouncing around, how will the couple survive? How will she? "He tried to shake off the idea of the fierce light that Patricia always carried in her eyes fading away." MAY CHANGE TO T


"What do you want me to say, Eddie? That everything's going to be alright? Because life isn't that way! And...and the doctor already talked to me. OKAY? There's not a good chance that I'm going to survive. I only have a few god damn fucking weeks!" She burst, all the anger and desperation and sorrow exploding from her words. Eddie looked at her somberly, unable to reply. He lingered on the last two sentences she had screamed to him. He waited and waited, staring up at the ceiling and then flicking back to his girlfriend's stern emerald green eyes. She glared at him, her upper lip curling upward, lips pressed hard together. She shivered, her face pale, her body, as painful as it was to admit, obviously weak. However, holding on to her strong personality, her eyes continued to bore through him, and everything seemed to hurt. His head spun as he tried to comprehend what she had just told him. It wasn't making sense and he couldn't look at her again without falling apart. He knew that she needed a strong figure beside her, urging her on. But as he closed his eyes, trying to concentrate, he felt as if he was about to collapse. She was his everything.

And they both knew this wasn't easy, it was far worse than when they struggled to say "I love you." Patricia had cancer. That shitty-ass thing called cancer that ruins people's lives. And she didn't have a good chance of living.

Eddie gulped, the realization of reality crashing down on him, hitting him right smack on the face. He tried to shake off the idea of the fierce light that Patricia always carried in her eyes fading away. He couldn't take it. He looked away from her, turning to look at the glass at the back wall. He could see the reflection of the moon illuminating, and the dangerous red lights of the emergency room flashing. And just behind the glass was a plump African American woman. She was shaking her head at the couple, insensitive as she tapped impatiently on her watch. He had to leave soon, but he wouldn't go without leaving Patricia with a little bit of reassurance. Even if she did think everything was hopeless and a big bunch of bull-crap. So he bobbed his head in a circular motion, snarling at the nurse. She responded confused, her eyes wide. Satisfied, Eddie stuck his tongue out at her.

And that's when he knew Patricia just needed to get some stuff off her chest as he spat at him. The sickness of the ones close to you did seem to have an effect on everyone, especially the recipient of the illness. So he was determined to bring some light back into his lover's life. Even if she would be gone. And the thing was, he knew he would never move on from her. He'd stay a widow for the rest of eternity. So he decided to man up and try to soothe her as much as possible, for her, and for him. He needed her to hold on. To hold on tight to everything they wanted for their future.

_Get it together, man. Get it together_, he reminded himself. He took a deep breath and turned to stare at her again. "You're not going anywhere, not without me, Patricia. Because you know what, you're stuck with me on this stupid roller-coaster of a life. Even if you can be annoying and stubborn as hell, I...love you and we-we're getting through this together," Eddie breathed, taking Patricia's hands in his.

She gazed at him, her expression softening as a small smile crept on her face. But she was realistic. She refused to believe anything so optimistic. "I wish things were like that. Honestly, I do, Eddie." She stretched her neck off the itchy white pillow to kiss him on the forehead. "But it's sweet for an idiotic slimeball like you to say." Her heart broke as Eddie's chocolate brown eyes began to tear up, a sad sparkle in his eyes. It made him even more gorgeous and she was going to miss him...so, so much. She peered down to look at his thick pink luscious lips puckered in a depressing way. Trying to make it all better as well, she captured them in hers, their lips molding together passionately, longingly.

They pulled apart after a while. Eddie watched her thoughtfully. He scooted onto her bed and pulled her close. He carefully thumbed through her hair as she looked up at him. A seeming look of appreciation and gratitude was brought upon Patricia's face, which was not a usual thing for her. He tightened his grip and began to cradle her. "Yacker, fuck your pessimistic attitude," he whispered into her ear, to which she responded with a smirk. "God, I love you so much." And the tears that he'd been trying to hold back spilled over, him quivering. He pressed his lips to her hair and began to hum the song, Two Is Better Than One.

"Oh, don't get all your crummy old tears in my hair. Some slutty bimbo with beach-blonde hair will get your attention right after I'm gone."

"Never. You'll always be my Yacker." Eddie quickly dug through his jacket pocket and took out a shiny sterling silver ring with a gleaming emerald placed atop. Then he slipped it in between her index finger. "I think it suits you, your eyes.." Rubbing circles around her palm, he began to sing softly again. Soon, she fell asleep peacefully nestled in his arms. And he stayed with her, focusing on the drum of her heartbeat and her slow, even breathing until he was rudely called out. He didn't want to leave.

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><p>So, I hope you liked. Please review.<p>

**Cookie Dough**- OMG OMG THAT WAS SO GOOD. I LOVED IT. PATRICIA & EDDIE FIVE-EVER3333 Story-alerting/favoriting/I'm just going to keep on checking.

**Green Elephant**- That was pretty good. I liked it. Definitely cute. I'll probably come back, but it's not a priority.

**Fedora**- I like. I'll probably tune in again, just cuz I like peddie. Not bad, but needs improvement.

**Soap**- Ehh. It was good, I guess. Just okay. Probably won't come back, but it was a nice try. Peddie DOES NOT belong in M.

**Veggies EWW**- That was T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E. Don't even write another chapter. Eww. Ahh, that was so bad. Never clicking this again. Peddie was like, OMG, so OOC.

^^ So, yeah, you can review that way, which would be so nice. And if you liked it enough or had something to say, add on something else. Constructive criticism, yeah(: Oh, and I want more people to read my stories, so honestly, when is the best time to post? Pacific Time please. Anyways, thanks for reading! I'll update pretty soon if I get some good reviews(;


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